


She's Not Here.

by iceybitch



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Shin Monshou no Nazo | Fire Emblem: New Mystery of the Emblem
Genre: F/M, Incoherent Thoughts, Masturbation, Nightmares and Paranoid Thoughts, Pining, Sexual Fantasy, brief mention of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24381388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceybitch/pseuds/iceybitch
Summary: While Merric may seem calm and collected, his thoughts, sometimes pleasurable, but mostly painful, always keep him up at night during the war. Memories, hypothetical ideas, and regrets flow throw his mind like a river strengthened by a strong breeze. If only she were here, safe with them, with him...But she's not. Set during Book 2 of Mystery of the Emblem or during New Mystery of the Emblem. Slight spoilers ahead. (The non-con is mentioned only briefly during an off-hand thought, but I wanted to give a heads up to users who might be sensitive to it)
Relationships: Ellis | Elice/Merric
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	She's Not Here.

_"_ Princess Elice. _.._ _"_ Merric mutters under his breath, taking himself in his hand, trying to picture the face of the woman he loves. How long has it been since he had seen her last in Altea's castle, when everything seemed to have gone back to normal?

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. Has more than a year passed since he told his light that he was to return to Khadien to study more, only to receive a warm embrace and a soft, "good luck," in return? He remembered that she promised to visit him every few months then, just like she did when he set off the first time at the age of fourteen. She couldn't keep her promise either time. Once again his princess, his light, his life-giver had sacrificed herself for the sake of others. The mage wishes that she were more selfish, but he'd never say those words out loud.

His memory of her is hazy as he pumps his hand up and down his length, short as it is. He usually only did this once a month in times of peace, but in this war and the last, he couldn't help but do this nearly every night his fears got to him, fantasizing about a better world where everything was at peace and Elice was safe in his arms. 

Sometimes his nightmares were about dying, either on the battlefield or trapped in the duel to the death that Arlen forced him into. While he understood where the blond was coming from...He can't say that he's forgotten the look of jealous hatred that Arlen gave him as he locked the two in a room with the full intention of killing Merric. He knows that Arlen still glares at him every time he takes out Excalibur. 

Other times, his nightmares are what could have happened to Elice, since she bit her lip and looked down every time someone asked about what Gharnef put her through in the war. He never pried, for her sake, but wishes that he could hold her hand and tell her it's OK. Now he's the one who needs it, on those nights his mind tortures him about her pain. Was she experimented on like a **rat** ? Was she **violated** grossly by the Pontifex and his fellow parasites? Was she a **punching bag** to him when things went wrong? He doesn't want to know. 

Tonight as he thinks of Elice, however, Merric's thoughts seem to be what she would say if she caught him like this: Quietly panting and moaning out her name as his belts are unbuckled and his pants are rolled down to his knees instead of hips as his bare manhood is visibly in his hand instead of his pants. An indecent one, but better than some of his other thoughts alone at night. 

Would she chastise him, and tell him to be decent? Would she grin and laugh at such a pitious display? Would she blush in embarrassment, and quickly utter her apologies as she runs out of the tent? Or would she lick her lips and ask to join him, let her white dress fall to the floor along with any undergarments as she'd pull him into a passionate kiss, and slowly lower herself onto his length, moaning into his mouth as she'd move up and down softly and slowly, she'd take his hand and place it on her breast, letting him feel the softness of her body as she'd faintly whisper, "You've grown so much, Merric," when he'd-

"Oh Elice…" he can hear himself coo to the air as he finally climaxes in his hand, setting him out of his fantasies as he feels the warm liquid coat his hand. Reality sets in as he takes a rag meant for wounds and wipes the semen off of his body. **_She's not here._ ** The reality check, the mental wound, settles in as he lays on his back, letting tears form and streak across his face.

He vowed to protect Elice until he drew his last breath, but twice now, **he failed her** in his attempts to grow strong enough...Strong enough to be the man she deserved, strong enough to be there for her. But in the end...He couldn't, and now only his hand keeps him company.

Not her kindness. Not her gentle smile. Not her voice. Not her laugh. Not her warmth. Not her healing abilities. **Not her.**

"Please be safe, Princess Elice…" he hears himself faintly mumbling, before closing his eyes and giving into slumber once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I love torturing my favorite characters? In all seriousness, I mainly just did this as a character study for Merric, since while he's usually calm and collected, I found that he tends to break his cool and be more emotional in front of Elice, which makes me think that he's secretly holding a fair amount of negative thoughts in. In addition, I think he thinks about her a lot, as protecting her was the main reason why he became a mage + she's currently being held by Gharnef again and he has no way of knowing that she's OK, or even still alive.


End file.
